While I was courting my most beautiful wife, someone threw a monkey wrench into our plans to get married. As always, the wisdom is on the side of those who have traveled before you. So, I admit that with wisdom, I’m pretty sure that it was her parents who sided with a plan that potentially could have derailed our entire marriage.
My most desirable fiancée had done so well in her high school studies and scored so highly on her college entrance exams that she was offered a full-ride scholarship to the University of Tennessee that would set her on a path of becoming a registered nurse. It was everything that she had worked for, everything she had dreamed of, and everything her parents had planned for. In fact, the plan was perfect for everyone– except me! The scholarship stipulated that she had to live on campus for two years and they had a strict non-marriage policy regarding their nursing students. I knew that if we were to attempt to carry-on a long-distance relationship, some other taller, more muscular male specimen would come along and by virtue of proximity, I would find myself being thrown back into the pool of eligible bachelor bass.
So, we talked about it, kissed about it, and our youthful lack of wisdom and raging hormonal complexities lead us to scrap the scholarship and move up the marriage date by two months. I can still hear her parents wailing and gnashing their teeth in my general direction. Nonetheless, we proceeded ahead with the marriage.
Of course, no one knows what lies ahead in your marital journey. How were we supposed to know that the premarital psychic we consulted was right when she predicted that I would one day take a dive out of a tree, compress vertebrae five and six together, mangle my spinal cord, and become a quadriplegic? As they say, playing quarterback on Monday is a whole lot easier. What it boils down to is that I made a mistake. We both, now, encourage our children and anyone else to get the most education they can while they are young and have brain cells to spare. This holds true for both partners because you never know when your dependence on just one of you will come up one short.
After my accident, we awoke to a new world where our financial plans of a blissful retirement had been. I spent many tearful nights over my lost abilities to financially take care of our family. But, one bright morning, my courageous wife decided to set aside our losses and journey forth on her original plan of becoming a registered nurse. Time being of the essence, she wanted to minimize the educational component so that she could begin working as soon as possible. She chose a very good college where she could be prepared to be a registered nurse within 18 months. The only problem was that they would not honor her scholarship which she had previously earned to the University of Tennessee. The price tag for their nursing program was not only steep, but required to be paid upfront. We had no idea how to come up with that kind of seriously bloated chump change!
We live in an area where many wealthy people attend our same church and know us well. We came up with a plan whereby we could approach some of the more wealthy and ask them for assistance. After consideration by our Bishop, we were counseled not to follow that path, but to find another way. When we asked for suggestions, none were given except that we needed to exercise our faith that God would provide. That began a tremendous growth of our faith. We both knew that my wife was inspired and that God had planned for her to be a nurse for many years. But we had no idea where to raise such a large sum of money. We prayed, we fasted, and my most resourceful wife went to work on it. Through a complex menagerie of student loans, government grants, re-educational incentives, state assistance, help from fellow church members, generous checks from many family members, and at the very last and most important moment our son whose name begins with “C” loaned his educational fund to his mom.
As if putting together the funds wasn’t hard enough, it paled in comparison with what my most brilliant wife had to actually go through in her educational experience. Countless nights filled with study and writing papers and care plans. Days and nights filled with study and learning with her most excellent study group. Every drive to and from school spent listening to class lectures. Long schooldays and even longer clinical days. Nights where I woke up many hours into my sleep to see her either sitting up in bed with one of her thick textbooks or kneeling at the side of her bed in fervent prayer. We fasted and I gave her several priesthood blessings as she headed into critical tests. Some mornings, while she was preparing her beautiful face, the tears of frustration, sadness, resentment, anxiety, and anger would pour from her eyes making it impossible to put on her mascara. There were days that she cried to me and the best that I could do was listen.
Out of these ashes rose the most beautiful Phoenix that I have ever seen – my wife the registered nurse!
So that’s how I did it. My seemingly impossible dream took shape right before my eyes. I now have my very own private cuddly nurse. I owe her my very life and she selflessly proceeded ahead. I have only touched on the many trials and the countless blessings that we have experienced through the last two years. And through it all she has also maintained her nurturing motherhood, her caring sisterhood, and her giving nature within our community. Twenty-eight years ago, her education accomplishment would have been attributed to her incredible intelligence. Today, her intelligence can still be credited, but I that I have witnessed a most complete miracle. Time to reverently sweep aside the ashes and fly ahead. Congratulations, with deep respect and love without end to my very own private cuddly registered nurse.
And that’s how it’s done! The beginning.
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