Conference!

 Today is the Monday after conference. It should be declared a holiday for all parents who have children under five and tried to take in conference! If you’ve never experienced this, it’s hard to relate. I remember those years, every fiber of our being was spent on corralling our children and trying to get them to remember one thing from conference.

Of course, leading into conference, we adults have all prepared quite diligently and made promises to ourselves that we would listen to every speaker and gain “something” out of conference. The Bishop’s wife suggested that we decide upon a question we have and we will be surprised about how many answers we receive during conference. What we forgot is that toddlers trump conference!

Okay, I can bet that there are countless grandfathers out there who have some good ideas about how to interact with your grandchildren so that their parents can watch conference in peace and hopefully learn something that you didn’t teach them. I’ll also bet they have to prepare ahead of time and make sure they are well hydrated and have had plenty of sleep. These kind of grandfathers do things like set up games where the grandchildren are matching faces on TV with faces carefully cut out of the Ensign. Or perhaps they give out pieces of candy corn to the listeners who identify certain words. Special candy for whomever can stay the quietest for the longest. Yes, these are all great ideas and I’m sure you can share hundreds more.

Here’s how I get through conference at the speed of gimpa. First, I set a reasonable goal. This year, my goal was that none of my grandchildren would be brought home by the local police because they had “escaped” and I had forgotten about them. So, I got myself a current set of pictures of our grandchildrenI and and worked on their names. I also had deadbolts and stair gates installed. I chose a room, our bedroom since I was confined to bed to take care of my pressure sores. The advantage of our bedroom was that it was relatively small and didn’t have many escape routes. I dumped out a bunch of crayons, papers, picture books, bugs ( the plastic ones of course), dolls, zillions of hair ties, and everyone’s favorite blanket. No guns. I learned that lesson last time. Turned on the TV to conference at a very low volume.

Here’s a hint on how to make it through eight hours of perpetual emotion: redefine reverence. It’s time to give up our tired and old definition. Reverence no longer includes “the act of being quiet”, nor is there room for “sitting quietly and listening”. Save those definitions for primary. Here’s my definition: watching my grandchildren in such a way that I come to spiritually understand the greatness of my Heavenly Father. He is their Heavenly Father as well. The Kingdom of Heaven is likened unto one of my little ones and I am here to learn.

I am happy to announce in this very blog that I reached my goal! No policeman visited my door, we all survived, I learned a bit from my grandchildren and I can’t wait for the conference issue of the Ensign!