How to Use The Word 'Lederhosen' In a Blog

The moment that you are about to gain some critical information about a member of your family feels electric. It's something like being in the middle of a seventh-grade dance floor with a disco ball directly above your head and you learn the name of that beautiful girl that keeps walking right by on her way to dance with someone else. You now have the name of the next love of your life!

That's exactly the way I felt last night when I learned that I had an internationally ranked clogger as a son-in-law! Here's how the whole thing happened:

I was busily engaged in watching my grand daughter Maxine go through a routine of her twirling. I'm fascinated by this, as you might imagine. She's quite good, in fact when I teach her how to start chanting poems as she twirls, I think she will give Rumi a whirl for his money. Apparently though, completely unbeknownst to me, my son, her father has other plans for her. He mentioned something about how she might take some lessons from my one, and only so far, son-in-law. ( This is where the electricity begins to flow.) I'm deep in thought about what the suggestion has to do with Sufism when I hear my son say that my son-in-law is in the internationally ranked blogger. "An internationally ranked blogger?" I'm thinking, and I did this out loud for some senile reason, "I didn't even know Eric had a blog and how did he get internationally ranked? I can even get four people to read my blog?" My wife gave me a look as if I had completely gotten the whole concept wrong and she pulled her chair closer to my ear and she repeated, "No, he said clogger, not blogger, with 'c', not a 'b'!"

Now, the disco ball is spinning out of control. I get a flash of a picture: my daughter, in her beautiful white wedding gown standing next to a man with a green hat, multi-colored shirt, and green lederhosen!

So, apparently the gent is, or was at least, an internationally ranked clogger who traveled over to the very country where they invented the dance. How could I have missed such an important fact like that in my pre-son-in-law interview? You'd think, being Irish and all myself, that I would have included a question about clogging in my interview. I asked him about blogging after all. Now, the electricity is losing its voltage. I must to make room for this new information and figure out how I'm going to apologize to my daughter for missing that important information before the wedding.

I'm not saying that I regret that he slipped by me on the interview. Actually, it's probably a good thing that I didn't ask that question because he's my number one son in law and I think the world of him and more importantly, my daughter loves him lederhosen and all.

Sidebar Question: there's a rumor floating around that you actually would have won the international clogging quartet competition except you split one of your cloggers all the way to the toe and you have forgotten your backup pair. Is that true?

I think it's time to start updating my pre-son-in-law interview because my next letter is obsessed about marrying somebody with the last name "Lutensliemer". I bet he probably has his last name in white letters on the back of his lederhosen.